Its so pretty outside today. Wish I were at the beach. I'm so excited cause Jess is off on Saturday and I am too so we are going to a car show and then to the beach. Tonight I am fixing dinner and we are going to do dinner and a movie date. I am trying to cheer her up. I know she has been having a hard time at work and she feels guilty talking to me about it because of everything I have going on, but I want her to tell me everything, I can handle it and I just want her happy. She has a job interview tomorrow at 9:30 and I am so excited for her. I hope she gets it,if that's what she wants and it will make her happy. I hate that she is miserable at work. In other news I am SO excited because Jess and I FINALLY scheduled a trip together. Now this isn't just a regular trip this is a trip to take my grandmother (the one who is very sick) gambling. Now I know most of you are probably puzzled but let me explain. My nanny and I started going to Alabama to a casino there right after I turned 19. She loves to play slot machines and I loved spending time with her. It became a special time we spent together even though we could only go a couple of times a year. No one has ever went with us it has always been us two and we would spend all day there and go to lunch together. It is some one of my favorite memories with her. I am extremely excited because this will be the first time Jess has met my nanny. So not only will my two favorite women in the world be in the same room with me, but I get to spend the weekend with them, and share one of my favorite memories with Jess. AND the whole thing was my grandmother's idea! Of course she doesn't know that Jess and I are together (its complicated) but she does know that Jess is a huge part of my life and that we are best friends. Its a huge deal for me to have them together, especially with my nanny being so sick as much as I hate to even think this, it could be the last chance I have to take her. Honestly this is the only thing that is keeping me going right now. Life has been hard lately, For Jess and I both. It just seems like everything that could go wrong has. And yes I know I am having a pity party for one today but sometimes a girl just needs to wallow. I am just getting so boggled down by life. I get so excited at the idea of having a baby with Jess and then at the same time it breaks my heart to know that she will never have a chance to know my nanny. The woman who raised me, the woman who made me the person I am today. I will make sure my child hears all of the stories that my nanny told me and I hope that I can be as good as a mother as she is to me.