Jess and Heather Explores de la Beaches.

So... Heather and I went exploring today. We drove to Hilton Head Island. Its only about an hour away, but its somewhere new for us. We got lost at one point and somehow ended up on a toll road...Mind you we didn't have ANY cash...we're pretty much debit girls, and the toll clerk was rude. We told her we were lost and confused and didn't have any money. She gave us this slip of paper saying we have to mail 1.25 back to them within 5 days. How do they know we didn't pay? Did they take a picture of us? Did they write down our License plate # after we left? IDK. But...being the good citizens we are...we will probably pay the 1.25. Then we went through this ritzy neighborhood like... fast food restuarants were 2 STORY BRICK! and all this crazy fountain stuff! It was sooo cool. We went around in circles then we found... BEACH PARKING!! So..we drove around the parking lot till we found a spot. So we parked. Under a shade tree (YAY Shade!) So then... we walked...like a mile to the beach! it was all faux wood stuff so it was comfy cool. We laid our stuff in the sand and then took off to the water!! YAY ocean!! So we're swimming and I pull up ...dun dun dun... A SAND DOLLAR!!! I was raised on a beach yes, but I've never caught a live one. And then I caught MORE and...MORE and MORE!!! Then as I take them up to the blanket so we can save the memory and give them to Heather's mommy as a trinket and stuff... DOLPHINS catch Heather's eye! Now...Heather's FAVORITE animal is the dolphin. She'd never seen a live real one until November when we came to Savannah for our mini vacation. THen...There were 3! swimming like not even 50 feet from her as I race towards her to share this first with her. Then... We continued swimming and there was another dolphin like 30 feet from us. We saw her eyeball when she dived in the water! It was SOOO awesome! THEN... we saw a girl get a starfish! A real Live STARFISH!! So... the hunt began. We danced in the water and swam together and jumped waves. It was utterly perfect. We were even holding hands in the water! And then...Heather felt one... A starfish Under her TOES!! SHe brought it up but...the waves knocked it away from us. SO... The hunt became our goal. SHE FOUND ME ONE!!! It crawled up my arm as I took it to our blanket. Then I found one! this time I didn't let it crawl up my arm. Then as I was getting it situated... Heather starts walking towards me Holding her hands out...SHE caught one TOO!!! well...A wave made it land on her and freak her out. But It was a WHOLE ONE!! Never been scared!!! so... We lay them flat and make them all stary and then... We pack up and head home because it was getting late and we still had to drive back and stuff... so... Heather got me PizzaHut AND DQ!!! I got a blizzard!!! and then... Now we're home. It was a perfect day filled with many first and most importantly Heather and I just spending time together. It was truly amazing. It made me fall in love with her sooo much. I love her more than anything. She's my world.

14 months

14 Months ago...I, Heather, finally got the courage up to tell Jess I was falling for her...Now granted I did it in the least romantic way ever known to man kind although she disagrees with me about this. I started out texting her, telling her I needed to talk to her, so for her to call me when she got time...well she did, and I started telling her I was falling for someone but I didnt ever think that we could be together (I wasn't really comfortable with my sexuality and I didn't know she had feelings for me!) anyway... I went on and on about this person who had come to mean alot to me but I knew that we could never be together. So Jess being the dutiful best friend speech told me that if its meant to be then it will be and right before I hung up I said "Hey Jess...do you have any idea who I am talking about?" and she replied "Yes and your not alone". At that exact moment my heart skipped like a million beats and I got these huge butterflies in my stomach. So after thinking about it for a while, Jess and I decided not to try to be girlfriends but to be natural and see where it takes us. Not to push anything but not to stop anything either. It wasn't long after that, that I knew I would be spending the rest of my life with her. I realize everyday that I wake up beside her just how truly lucky I am. So for our anniversary we celebrated last night by going to Chili's eating a nice dinner and drinking a margarita, and then going to the beach and walking on the peer and walking holding hands in the sand letting the waves crash over our feet. The stars were shinning so bright lighting up the sky and she looked so beautiful in the moon light. It was one of those nights that you see in movies or read about in books where people try to paint the picture but you never really know what they are talking about until you experience it. It was amazing and just what I needed after the day I had yesterday... More bad news on my family...while I am still dealing with my nanny being so sick my mom calls me yesterday and tells me that she found a knot in her breast a couple of weeks ago and she went to the doctor and they ran some test, well she went back to the doctor yesterday, and the lump came back cancerous. So they did another test and she has to go see a cancer doctor on Tuesday, and we will know more then. I have been extremely angry with the world lately because everything keeps piling on me...(I dont think I mentioned the fact that I lost my job last week too :{ ) Everything keeps going wrong and at times I feel like I cant breathe. Last night was exactly what I needed. A beautiful night with the most amazing woman I have ever met to remind me that life is beautiful and yes there are struggles and obstacles to overcome but if you dont overcome those obstacles then you dont get to have those magical moments last night...so all in all Jess I want to thank you for last night, for the last 14 months, for the next 100 years that we have together but most of all for loving me! I love you baby girl!
♥ Heather

Jess ♥'s Heather

So... Heather and I had a day off together. It really meant alot to me. We dressed up all girly and went downtown and took pictures. She's soo amazing. I woke up this morning to her being soo excited because she'd decided she wants to get back into the healthcare stuff...Mainly home health. She's an amazing CNA and I hate that one nursing home ruined her of that passion for a while. Granted...the nursing home was Satan's Spawn. So she called a home health care agency and we went from there. It was really hot today so we didn't get to stay outside long but...it was still fun! When we came home I got to cuddle with her and I must say...holding her in my arms is the most amazing happy true best thing ever. My body was molded to fit hers. Our hands molded to interlock perfectly. She's the best thing to ever happen to me. I know she's been really down in the dumps lately, and I hate that i can't really do anything to help her with that. All I know to do is to hold her when she asks and not push her when she pulls away. She's truly amazing.

On another note...I think family is starting to figure out that we're together. Heather has been talking to her mom daily, but recently her mom has started saying stuff like Heather is a good wife or even if you and Jess were together... It's an interesting concept to think they're finally figuring it out. They're all freaking out about meeting me when we go gambling with Nanny. I don't understand it. I mean... I'm just a girl...Nothing special. I'm nervous about meeting Nanny because I want to make a good impression on her and let her know that I'm a good person but mainly i want to make a good impression because she is Heather's hero. Its a HUGE deal to meet someones hero especially when that person is the love of you life. I mean...Its like...idk I guess I can't explain it but... I want Nanny to like me. Heather and I were talking last night and I want to know all of the stories Nanny has to tell. I want to know everything about her. She fascinates me. She's soo strong and to raise Heather as well as she did she's got some amazing talent cuz....Heather's an AMAZING woman. I could understand if Heather's family doesn't like me, but if Nanny doesn't...I'd probably dislike myself for a LONG time.

Heather is amazing. She keeps saying she feels like she doesn't do anything...I wish I could express just what she does for me. She's my everything.

Alright...I'm Hungry...and I forgot what else I was going to blog about...Well darn...

Jess.

The good and the Bad

Heather here... So our new dog is in heat...ALREADY! Poor girl. She is so adorable though. She loves stealing Jess's spot beside me on the couch. Every time Jess moves to do something Bella moves over and curls up beside me and looks at Jess like "ha-ha I got your spot" Its too cute! Bad news about my nanny... Her kidneys are starting to shut down. They are sending her to a kidney specialist to see what our options are but the heart doctor didn't seem to think there was much we could do. She is so strong in all of this. She worries more about me worrying about her then she does about herself. Our trip is getting closer and closer, just 20 days away and I am so excited! Jess has been amazing through everything. I know I haven't been the easiest person to live with lately. I have been so down and just blah, that I often don't even feel like talking and Jess, well she is just amazing and she understands it even though she hasn't been there personally she sees the connection between me and my nanny, so even when I don't feel like talking she supports me. I have been going through this, well I don't know what you would call it, but I feel like the walls close in on me sometime and its like I cant breath and I cant stand for anyone or anything to touch me and at first when I pulled away from Jess, she didn't understand and I think it hurt her but I tried to explain where I was coming from and she was okay with it. My family all seems to be "worried" about me, that I'm not dealing well, and blah blah blah, but I don't see how I could be taking it any better. I don't understand how they are so okay with it. They keep telling me she is 82 and she has lived a long life, yes that's true but I think she should have 100 more years ahead of her and while I know its not physically possible my heart doesn't. It doesn't comprehend a world without her. I know I should cherish and be thankful for every moment that I have with her and I am...I guess I am just selfish and I want more. I hate that every time the phone rings I freak out and if I call her and she doesn't answer I cry and am scared senseless til I get her to answer. I don't know how to make that feeling go away. Any Ideas?